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rogueagent5
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Name: Jah-reed
Country: United States
State: North Dakota
Metro: Fargo
Birthday: 8/12/1981
Gender: Male
Interests: Movies movies movies: Top 5 - Fight Club, Almost Famous, Adaptation, Amelie, The United States of Leland. Having Phil pull my puppet strings, Online poker, Pint night at the OC
Expertise: Watching movies. Being condemned to Hell. Believing in a heliocentric universe.
Occupation: Supervisory
Industry: Textiles
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/12/2003
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| I'm standing in front of Jesus. He is facing me with his arms outstretched, much like the pose from The Last Supper. We just stand there looking at each other for awhile. Suddenly, the background goes black and all these symbols light up on Jesus's body, as if they were on fire. I remember that there was a crescent on his left hand and his chest had a symbol of three circles that looked like a planet with two moons orbiting.
Suddenly and without warning, Jesus grabs my face with his burning symbol hands. It hurts but I also know that this is some sort of initiation ceremony and the pain is necessary. After about 15 seconds, Jesus lets go of me and everything goes black except for all the flaming symbols. At this point, the symbols start to reorder themselves and spell out the word "Psychology" (the crescent was the C, the three circles were the O's, etc.). The words "Church of" appear above the burning Psychology in a wipe sort of effect.
Then I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for about half an hour. I also thought about starting an anti-Scientology organization, but with all the same crazy tenants. We have symbols and that's all that matters.
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| New Movie Review - The Hills Have Eyes
Basic Synopsis: Family is traveling. They find a gas station inhabited by a shifting looking old snaggletoothed man. SLOSTM says "You appear to be a family that knows the area. Perhaps you would be interesting in taking an unmarked dirt road to reduce the time of your journey? It is easy to traverse and crazy hill people will not attack and kill your family. We swears it." And of course the family says "Why thank you SLOSTM. Why, if we get lost we can always turn to our trusty guide....God! He'll help us." You can probably guess the rest. Crazy hill people attack, many deaths. In the end all but three are dispatched.
General Feelings: Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Movie survives on cheap startles and gore and freaky looking hill people. There is a rape scene in the unrated DVD I watched, but I don't know if that would be in the actual movie. The hot stuck up one totally gets it taken to her. Also there are lots of unnecessary head shots. And dog attacks.
Final Rating: (N) - Seems to be a lot like the stupid horror films Rob Zombie made. "Hello unsuspecting tourists. Would you be interesting in some local flavor that is not on your map and is totally cool but is really just a lame plot device designed to get you into the middle of nowhere so we can kill you? You would?? Excellent" For Christ's sake. Invent a new lame plot device. | | |
| I really hate Uwe Boll. For those who don't know, Uwe Boll is the greatest scourge to movies on the face of the Earth. You know how movies based on video games have a reputation as being bloody awful? That reputation is based almost entirely on movies done by Dr. (apparently, according to the news post) Uwe Boll. Here is a list of some of the terrible movies he is either filming or has directed
Postal, Bloodrayne, Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead. He has done many others but IMDB no longer records them.
He used to make these movies as part of a tax scam where the studio would sell the movie to a shell company in Germany. The shell company would sell the movie back to the studio at a loss to the shell company. Under German tax laws at the time, the loss was tax deductible. Now he just makes terrible movies at cut rates and everyone goes to see them, just to make sure they're still as awful as they ever were.
The point: I wish I had put all this in print a year ago. Because Dr. (whatev's Uwe) Boll is sponsoring a contest. He is setting aside time during the shooting of his next movie (They say this time is even written into the shooting schedule) to box his ten harshest critics. Box. As in, beat the unholy living hell out of Uwe Boll. Who could pass up the opportunity to try and beat the crap out of the greatest plague to the movie industry of our generation?
The problem: Restrictions on the contest. First a note. These are not like the restrictions Ashida Kim puts on his contest (see The Good Reverend , 2005 ) Uwe will pay all travel and hotel expenses to Vancouver. The restrictions are: You have to have put up two scathing reviews of Uwe or his movies during 2005 or prior, you must be between 140 and 190 lbs, and you must pass a physical. That's it. Aside from the problem of having to lose 25 pounds and traveling back in time to write scathing attacks on his movie and training to be a boxer, I could so do this!
Regrets: Why didn't I attack you when I had the chance, Uwe Boll. Why didn't I learn to box? Why???
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